7 Tips to Help Improve Your Emotional Self-Control and Leadership


Self-awareness is recognizing who you are and how your emotions affect you. Self-awareness helps you to know your personal values so that you live by them, not just talk about them. When developing self-awareness, start with understanding yourself better. You can begin to understand yourself better by observing your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and behaviours before sharing them with others.

Another important thing to do when being self-aware is keeping track of what triggers these emotions–the events that precede them–and what are the consequences of having one emotion or another in the situation.

Learn Self-Control!

You must learn self-control when emotions run high. This means not doing anything you may regret later, for instance hitting out at somebody or saying something hurtful when you are in an emotional state. Instead, focus on what is happening around you and take time out away from the problem area to calm down before reacting. You can take this time by going for a walk or exercise in order to release tension and calm yourself down. It’s far better to just let it go than say something you’ll regret forever!

Leaders who have well developed emotional self-control are able to keep their disruptive emotions under control when they matter the most- leading to more effective leadership, happier lives and greater self-awareness.

7 Tips to Help Improve Your Emotional Self-Control 

People with good emotional self-control tend to be more successful and are more likely to be better leaders.

1) Be Aware of your Emotions 

When we become assertive, we need to monitor our emotions. If you find yourself getting upset or frustrated at someone or something, take a step back and think about why you’re feeling that way. Is it because of the situation at hand? Is it because you’re tired? Or stressed? Or hungry? Ask yourself these questions if you feel like your emotions are taking over control. You have to stay in charge of your emotions, don’t let your emotions drive you. Be the boss of your emotions!

2) Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

EQ is an ability that is critical for effective leadership. It includes controlling your behaviour, understanding others’ moods and feelings, motivating yourself to act in constructive ways, recognizing your potential, and adapting to changing situations. EQ, as opposed to IQ, is said to be the best indicator of someone’s ability to excel in their career and succeed as a leader.

3) Don’t Internalize every Emotion

When something happens at work, we tend to internalize our emotions; we attribute them solely to ourselves and forget who provoked those feelings. We should take a step back and realize that it’s not always about us. It may seem like everything has been going wrong recently and you held yourself responsible for all your life turbulences. Keep this in mind – sometimes our behaviour is not entirely caused by our feelings.

4) Focus on the Task at Hand 

When you are stressed, it can be easy to become overwhelmed with anger or frustration because of your negative thoughts. You further feed these emotions by allowing them to dictate your actions and decisions instead of focusing on what you should be doing in the first place. Stay focused! Have a plan for how you’re going to get through your workday, start each morning by creating a list of tasks, prioritize important tasks over the ordinary ones, etc. Being mindful of what’s happening inside yourself will allow you to make better choices when surrounded with challenges.

5) Take Responsibility for your Role

Although sometimes events are out of our hands, we don’t have the power to choose our reactions. Instead of getting frustrated because your co-worker is always late with their part of the report, think about how you might be able to improve your communication or delegate some tasks so that everyone’s responsibilities are clearly defined. The more you take responsibility for what happens in your life and work environment, the less likely you are to get angry at others when things don’t go as planned.

6) Get Support from Others

You can never underestimate the power of a good support network! If other people know that you’re trying to work on your emotional self-control they’ll be more supportive and understand when your emotions get the best of you. The people supporting you will a have a better understanding of what you are going through and can help provide encouragement during tough times.

7) Breathe

When we’re under stress, our breathing changes; it becomes more shallow and less frequent. Take long deep breaths when trying to calm yourself or re-focus your thoughts. If you feel that the situation is out of your control, step away for awhile (go for a walk outside if possible), take some deep breaths, meditate (even for 10 minutes at work will make a big difference), these exercises can help put things in perspective and bring you back down to earth after feeling overwhelmed.

The BottomLine!

People with strong interpersonal skills possess qualities of self-control and self-management. Self-awareness is the first step to emotional self-control. Once you become aware of your patterns, and what thing disturbs you, it’s easier to take steps to change those habits that hold you back from achieving your goals

Write a comment